10-10-10 (Sun)

The best Sunday I ever had.Guess what?I went to church with Suk Qing.It's like live concert.We're so excited and hot.We sang the worship song with burning heart and I definitely enjoy the singing section to the fullest.There,I released my stress.I talked to the Jesus and I know He hears me.People there was so warm and friendly.They blessed those who needs blessing with sincere heart.We had our Holy Communion too.And I was so lucky today,I had the opportunity to appreciate the songs which sang by the singing leader(also a guitarist) who's going to leave to Kampar. He brought us to the highest.That was the most touched moment.Everyone was so reluctant to let him goes.Anyway,may God continues his blessing upon him and his family.
One more week is gone.My exam is fall on next Wednesday.I'm so scared.OMG...O'Lord,please strengthen me,give me courage and confidence.I trust in You.In Jesus name I pray,Amen.

Fear...

Mum called me just now.The feeling of fear comes into my mind.Why am I so afraid?Never have this super duper lousy feeling before.I fear my dad will scold me again.Seriously hates this kind of feeling.He is my dad.I shouldn't have this feeling.hmmm...I can't help myself for having this feeling(innocent look).I'm SO scared we talked for too long and keep answering my mum question with emm...emm...emm...dare not to talk too much.I felt relieved when my mum told me he slept ored!I was like fuh......
Actually I missed two calls from mum just now as I went to take bath.I saw my dad's number appeared on my phone.I was so happy and contains a bit of...nervous?So I called back.Guess I heard whose voice?It's my mum.A bit sad.I expected my dad to answer the phone.It's ok it's alright.I'm the one who used to cuddle with my dad,but now I feel awkward.Keep querying myself why???!

Nightmares Queen...

I thought everything will be fine after my statement of entry stuff had been settled.But I still keep making nightmares.It's sorta horrifying and terrible nightmares.Even taking nap also will make nightmare.What's your feeling when you seeing someone digging somebody eyes out and keep bleeding?ewww...gross...Damn it!Is it because I'm too stressed?...maybe...Guess I might do the closing ceremony of nightmares only after exam.sigh...What a stress life!Is it God wants me to become stronger and tougher by giving me such hard task?Totally exhausted...Only God knows my pain.O'Lord,please strengthen me and guide me through this.In Jesus name I pray,Amen.

Pasar malam...

Pasar malam!!!Went to pasar malam with Kam Leng and Suk Qing.It's kinda fun.I bought a short pants.Luckily it fits me...fuh...I was told by Suk Qing,Kam Leng almost broke.Lolx...As a kind person,I advised her to eat porridge from now onwards.It's like kill two birds with one stone(save money and keep fit)...hahahaha...She really bought a lot,clothes and accessories until forgot to eat.Alamak!!!At last,we ended up with da bao fried rice with sambal.Not bad.I need to redo my account.I didn't expect I'll buy that short pants.I managed to buy some food for my cousin as a breakfast tomorrow.Hope they like it.^^

Just to.........

Have a nice conversation with mum just now.But it was cut off by dad.We talked a lot.It took us about...um...half an hour maybe...?He asked mum is it no need credit to talk?How sad!On that moment,I began to cry!I keep thinking,is he hates me?Since when I have that feeling?I have no idea.Maybe after my A Levels result was out.Man is realistic.Even our family is not excluded.Being asking myself for so many times,you love me because I got good result in my primary school and lower secondary school?I told Nikki about this.She said I think too much!The answer is MAYBE!There is no affirmation.Yes,I failed my maths and econs.But I passed my law.But it isn't enough for me to get into uni.I need 2 passes!I hate maths!Seriously!I can't help myself from stop crying.Maybe it's the way for me to relieve myself.Crying is not a crime!
You have not been calling me for so long.Since I came out to KL,it's just three to four times.
I think I'll feel awkward when we meet.Gosh...!!!I hate that feeling!Shouldnt be like this!If you didnt insist me to study law,will it become like this?I love you so much!But you really hurt me.It's pain!Im crying alone in the room.You wont know I nearly killed myself before the final exam.I continued my life because of you!I studied law because of you!I keep persuaded myself you forced me because of my own good!Only mum knows me.She gives me support she cares about me she worried about me.But you did not!You said something bad behind me!You did not believe me!Anyway,you're my dad.It's reality.I expect something good from you.I hope you really love me just because I'm your daughter.I love you Dad!I'll always keep you in my prayer.