Just to.........

Have a nice conversation with mum just now.But it was cut off by dad.We talked a lot.It took us about...um...half an hour maybe...?He asked mum is it no need credit to talk?How sad!On that moment,I began to cry!I keep thinking,is he hates me?Since when I have that feeling?I have no idea.Maybe after my A Levels result was out.Man is realistic.Even our family is not excluded.Being asking myself for so many times,you love me because I got good result in my primary school and lower secondary school?I told Nikki about this.She said I think too much!The answer is MAYBE!There is no affirmation.Yes,I failed my maths and econs.But I passed my law.But it isn't enough for me to get into uni.I need 2 passes!I hate maths!Seriously!I can't help myself from stop crying.Maybe it's the way for me to relieve myself.Crying is not a crime!
You have not been calling me for so long.Since I came out to KL,it's just three to four times.
I think I'll feel awkward when we meet.Gosh...!!!I hate that feeling!Shouldnt be like this!If you didnt insist me to study law,will it become like this?I love you so much!But you really hurt me.It's pain!Im crying alone in the room.You wont know I nearly killed myself before the final exam.I continued my life because of you!I studied law because of you!I keep persuaded myself you forced me because of my own good!Only mum knows me.She gives me support she cares about me she worried about me.But you did not!You said something bad behind me!You did not believe me!Anyway,you're my dad.It's reality.I expect something good from you.I hope you really love me just because I'm your daughter.I love you Dad!I'll always keep you in my prayer.